Here’s my annual Love Island quiz – be ashamed if you get them right

MORE than 5,000 complaints to Ofcom later, the winners of Love Island in 2022 were declared Ekin-Su and Davide, and with that their fate was sealed.

Dancing On Ice and Celebrity MasterChef, if it goes well.

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The winners of Love Island in 2022 have been declared Ekin-Su and Davide1 credit

Ex on the beach and apocalypse Wow! if it’s not the case.

A meager reward for saving the show and helping ITV pocket an estimated £100million in advertising costs.

Despite all of its many flaws and lack of conscience, I hope the Love Island juggernaut keeps rolling and avoids any foolish calls to include plus-size contestants, which would keep everyone from making fun of ‘beautiful people’. and kill the show. dead in a second.

Without this last great sulky bastion of political incorrectness, television would be even more unbearably bland and preachy than it is now.

And yes, I would also have no way of filling my column with the annual Love Island quiz.

Answers at the bottom of the page. Be ashamed of yourself if you understand them well.

1) ON DAY 1, what was Paige’s favorite sex position?

A) The broken eagle.
B) The paraplegic penguin.
C) The fractured cockatoo.

2) What did a sobbing Jacques say he would do when Paige got back to the airport?

A) Serve him a crepe at Costa Coffee in the arrivals hall.
B) Pick it up.
C) Follow her and Adam at a discreet distance.

3) Upon arrival, Ikenna said, “I don’t really need to try too hard with women. My record in one night is 15 to 20.” But how many did he attract to the villa?
A) 15-20
B) More than 20.
C) None.

4) COMPLETE Gemma’s introductory sentence. “I love my boys like my horses. . .

A) “Tall, dark and they let me lead.”
B) “Small, blond and a bit controlling.”
C) “Dead, transformed and in a can of dog food.”

5) WHAT quality does Summer say she wants in a man?

A) Humility and sense of humor.
B) Sunshine and charm.
C) Big dick of energy.

6) WHAT did a stunned Gemma claim Dami did for “ten seconds” on the July 26 episode?

A) Spoken without mumbling.
B) Talked to Indiyah without either of them saying “like” or “literally”.
C) Farted.

7) What did Luca tattoo on his right shoulder?

A) Albert Einstein.
B) Albert Steptoe.
C) His own name and a forwarding address in case he forgets.

8) WHAT did Gemma tell Afia she would lick for £2000?

A) A pig’s butt.
B) A horse’s ass.
C) Billy.

9) WHAT did Indiyah perform at the memorable Love Island “talent show” contest?

A) Piano Concerto in D minor by Rachmaninoff, on a Steinway.
B) Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, on a recorder.
C) The Indian rope trick, on Dami’s donger.

10) WHAT heinous thing did Luca, Davide and Dami do to cause over 1,500 complaints to Ofcom on day 43?

A) They sacrificed a goat in a devil worship ceremony near the hearth.
B) They took an eternal oath of allegiance to former Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, at Casa Amor.
C) They stomped on Tasha three times in the Snog Marry Pie game.

11) WHAT Turkish food product did Ekin-Su coyly compare herself to when talking to Davide?

A) A mutton doner skewer.
B) Goat cheese ravioli.
C) Turkish Delight.

12) Who left after only five days?

A) Charlie.
B) Liam.
C) The dignity of André.

13) WHAT distinctive mark did Dami boast of having?

A) A heart-shaped birthmark on his penis.
B) A penis-shaped birthmark on his heart.
C) A sad face emoji tattooed on his scrotum.

And finally, smart asses. . .

14) WHO were the first two people to arrive at the villa?

A) Amber and Indiyah
B) Paige and Indiyah.
C) Tasha and Gemma.

Unexpected goons in the bagging area

THE Chase, Bradley Walsh: “What large mammals shake their trunks when they meet?”

Joanna: “Dolphins”.

Tipping Point, Ben Shephard: “In terms of area, which of the Channel Islands is the largest?”

Jack: “The Falklands.”

Ben Shephard: “The seaside resort of Benidorm is located in which European country?”

Raffa: “Croatia”.

Random irritations

THE Good Morning Britain subtitle-writing moron who thinks “Italian” is spelled with two L’s.

This Morning loading us up with Matthew Wright and Gyles Brandreth on the same couch.

The ever useless Dave Chain threatens to revive Mock The Week’s ugly corpse.

And an EastEnders doctor announcing the terrible Mitchell-related news that: ‘Ben is conscious – his vitals are good and we’ve managed to get the tube out’, just when I was really hoping they’d killed the tube forever.


AND finally, Lenny Henry, flanked by Shazia Mirza and Joe Lycett at the Commonwealth Games: Opening Ceremony – “Good evening Birmingham! It’s time to do what we do best. Someone?


PC gang playing games

NEVER in all my days have I been so happy to see Duran Duran as I was last Thursday night.

The main act was a merciful release from all hypocritical sermons, at the Commonwealth Games: Opening Ceremony which began with a poem describing the evils of the Empire and ended with Tom Daley bawling 35 mostly Third World countries for not being more “on message” about homosexuality.

Tom Daley at the Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony

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Tom Daley at the Commonwealth Games Opening CeremonyCredit: Getty

A screaming irony that could have been avoided if they had just rid themselves of self-hatred for three hours.

The night, however, was lost to the cult of the revival and its sliding scale of historic victimhood, most graphically illustrated when a group of desolate-looking girls dragged a large mechanical bull through Birmingham’s Alexander Stadium , as Hazel Irvine explained: “These underpaid and overworked women were responsible for making part of the chain of the slave trade. . . but they too were enslaved by their terrible circumstances.

A misfortune, it goes without saying, that was not the fault of anyone living in Britain – surely the only country on Earth where some would see the creation of the Industrial Revolution as an inexhaustible source of shame and regret.

If you think woke cultists are going to die out, you haven’t realized that television, public service, and the business world are now overrun by mediocrities who constantly chant the mantra “diversity, equality, inclusion.” Not just because their egos and their mortgages depend on it and they can’t do anything else, but for the most mind-blowing reason of all.

They take real pleasure in ransacking their own country.


In a hastily reissued EastEnders on Monday, the BBC aired its (semi) official stance on England’s women’s Euro squad through Kim Fox: “It changed everything. The game, women’s sports, little girls everywhere. Each of them is a model. »

So they’re no longer ‘too white’ for the vile BBC Guardian reading biases? Well, that’s convenient, isn’t it. . .


Great sports ideas

IAN WRIGHT: “That’s what these girls dreamed of. They couldn’t even have dreamed of that.

Rachel Brown-Finnis: “The thing with German teams is that they always play in the German league.”

Vicki Sparks: Finally, those three words that we’ve been rejecting throughout this tournament, ‘This is our home’.

(Compiled by Graham Wray)

Gold Television

ONLY two programs I watched this week came close to earning the title “TV Gold”.

The first was The Newsreader, a top 80s Australian drama that made a welcome transfer to BBC2.

The other was Channel 4’s superb Night Coppers who, when not grappling with the human wreckage of another lost evening in Brighton and their own sanity, are just as desperate as everyone else for a kebab and a slash. Watch it (Channel 4, Tuesday, 9 p.m.).

They may even change your opinion of the police.


AT THE Commonwealth Games: Opening Ceremony, Andrew Cotter: “Charles and Camilla arrive in an Aston Martin. I have to say quickly, it now works on a combination of a byproduct of wine making and the fermentation of whey from cheese making.

The car or Camilla?

Camilla and Charles arrive at the Commonwealth Games

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Camilla and Charles arrive at the Commonwealth GamesCredit: AP

BIG TV lies and rants of the week. Ekin-Su: “Wow! Love Island 2022, women empowerment.

And Love Island, Luca: “I’m not someone who takes a low blow just because Adam and Paige have only been there for five minutes,” he said, taking a low blow.

PENNIES started falling on Spooked Scotland (the Really channel), inside the main castle, where BS paranormal dealer Chris Fleming admitted this week: ‘What concerned me was something attached to Gail [Porter] it makes her uncomfortable. Chris, you’re warming up.


lookalike of the week

Ratatouille chef Horst, right, and Wayne Rooney, left

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Ratatouille chef Horst, right, and Wayne Rooney, left

This week’s winner is Wayne Rooney and Ratatouille Chef Horst.

I have 0.5mm lip filler but I regret it so much I look like a duck
22-year-old mum Sue Radford shows the reality of motorhome vacations with her kids

Sent by Michele M.

The winning entry receives £65 and a copy of You Dirty Old Man, the authorized biography of Wilfrid Brambell, by David Clayton.

Love Island Quiz Answers

1)a. 2) b. 3) C. 4) a. 5) c. 6) c. 7) one. 8) b. 9)b 10)c. 11)c. 12) b. 13) one. 14) b.

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